Monday, July 18, 2011

If I'm Being Honest...

I don’t know whether to throw a toddler fit, kicking and screaming on the floor, or jump up and down yelling, “sh*t, sh*t, sh*t!” Ok, guessing its not going to be the second one because I won’t even type it out, let alone yell it at the top of my lungs. And it really won’t be the first either because I’d like to think I outgrew that phase at about 3.

Ok, so all that’s left is using my words. Fine! I think I’m pretty good at that ;). Ever since my last appointment with the spine doc, when I swore off doctors (please forget this little episode, that was a fluke) my body has been feeling pretty good. I felt like I was back to my pre-Israel shape and getting stronger. But there’s something I’ve been hiding. Ever since I golfed with my parents (whose brilliant idea was that disaster?) my back has been bother me again. It started as just a little twinge, like a pulled muscle or something. But after boot camp last Thursday (we did some side lean thing with a sledgehammer) it’s back to feeling like it was when the doctor first found the Pars Defect.

It’s frustrating. PT worked, I was keeping up with my exercises and generally being pretty careful. Then I slacked for just an hour, and I wind up back at square one. Knowing that there is something out there (PT) that works, I’m tempted to go back. But we’ve been dealing with so much crap from the insurance company (they insist I’m not on my parents plan, when I am, and every time they say it’s fixed, another claim gets denied) that even though we’ve met our deductible and now would be the perfect time to go, I’m hesitant.

The other reason I’m hesitant is that I don’t want to be that girl. The one who always has issues. You know the type I’m talking about, right? The other thought going through my mind is, would maintenance PT work? Could I go just a few times? Or would I wind up going twice a week for a month or two, every three months for the rest of my life?

Or maybe I should just lay off the golf. Either way, I need to figure something out. It’s not bad enough to keep me from doing what I love, but not much is. The question is, how bad to I let it get before I decide to do something?

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